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At BANNED Camp
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
>wire
>long after hypothermia has set in.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
>hood
>and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
>man shows
>up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these
>things,
>but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where
>to
>start." We will then drink beer.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
>and
>take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never
>get as
>sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
>the
>store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
>like
>"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never,
>under any
>circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine
>hygiene
>product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice)
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
>insist on
>taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as
>much,
>once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
>___________________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
>while
>I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
>looking
>for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
>
>_______________________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
>The
>answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make up
>something else when
>you ask, so don't ask.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
>mother
>come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any
>more than I
>have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to
>see
>it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
>Chances
>are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
>you
>were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
>fine. With
>the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
>Can we
>just go now?
>_______________________________________________
>
>Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share
>
>equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
>gardening, the
>cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest because
>I'm a man.
 

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............................ nice :crackup
 

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Speed_Addiction said:
>Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
>you
>were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
>fine. With
>the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
>Can we
>just go now?

OMFG :crackup :crackup :crackup :crackup :crackup


soooo true
 

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Ladies love fatbuck's Cupcakes
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17,553 Posts
I think this dude can say he is a man.



Man Who Fought Polar Bear Wins Carnegie
Mon Dec 22,11:15 PM ET Add U.S. National - AP to My Yahoo!


By CHARLES SHEEHAN, Associated Press Writer

PITTSBURGH - A Canadian man was one of 15 people awarded a Carnegie Medal on Monday for an act seemingly pulled straight from the tall tales of the American frontier.


Dr. Eric Fortier, 34, used a pocket knife to attack a polar bear on Canada's Baffin Island, just south of the Arctic Circle, to save two friends who were being mauled.


Fortier, an orthodontist, first encountered the bear in July 2001 when he felt what he thought was a dog leaning on his tent wall.


"My first thought was to push it away," he said. "A few seconds later my girlfriend saw the shadow of a bear's paw through the tent fly and then it started ripping through the ceiling."


The two screamed to frighten the bear and warn their friends in a tent several yards away, but the bear ripped into that tent and began mauling 31-year-old Alain Parenteau.


"Their screams changed," Fortier said. "I grabbed my glasses and my knife and unzipped my tent and headed out."


The bear dwarfed the 6-foot-1 Parenteau, knocking him to the ground, he said.


Fortier threw a large rock at the bear, distracting it and allowing Parenteau to escape, but it then turned on 25-year-old Patricia Doyon, who was in the same tent. Again Fortier threw rocks at the bear and again its target was able to escape.


"The bear gave chase and I gave chase," he said. "At some point, Patricia tripped or the bear tripped her and was at her back. I was beside the bear's head and I stabbed it with an upper cut below the jaw in the neck a couple of times."


The bear ran off. While there was some fur and blood on the 3 1/2-inch blade, Fortier said he doesn't think he hurt the bear badly. Both Parenteau and Doyon, however, were bleeding badly.


Fortier and his girlfriend lashed two canoes together and paddled five miles along the Soper River. Fortier traveled another two miles by foot to seek help in the nearest settlement.


Both Parenteau and Doyon were airlifted to a hospital and survived, though Parenteau had a gash within a centimeter of his jugular, Fortier said.


The bronze medal is given to people who "risk their lives to an extraordinary degree while saving or attempting to save the lives of others."


Industrialist Andrew Carnegie started a hero fund in 1904 after being inspired by rescue stories from a mine disaster that killed 181 people. The award comes with a $3,500 grant.


Two of those given the award Monday died while trying to rescue others.


Jamie L. Inman, 24, of Pellville, Ky., died after passing her 10-year-old stepdaughter and 1-year-old son through a window to save them from a mobile home fire on Feb. 8, 2002.


Inman was found inside the home beside the body of her 3-year-old daughter.
 
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