Homer quotes:
“I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats.”
“Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for daddys, and kids with fake I.D.s.”
(While drowning) "Maggie!! Call Aquaman!!"
Grandpa:
“Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say ‘dickety’ cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.”
"Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."
"I used to be with 'it', but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it' anymore and what's 'it' seems weeeird and scaaary."
Ralph:
"Me fail english? That's unpossible!"
“Hello supernintendo Chalmers. I’m lernding.”
"When I grow up I'm going to be a principal, or a caterpillar!"
"I have a belly button!"
"My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owies."
Things Bart wrote on the blackboard:
I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
The truth is not out there
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I am not delightfully saucy
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
I will not get very far with this attitude
Nobody cares what my definition of "is" is