Wel I could go to steves house and borrow one of his guns:redflip
That really stinks though, pick up some thera flu, it will shave a day or so off of the course. Use motrin ( not aleve) for the body aches since it will also bring down your temperature, and also make sure you drink PLENTY of fluids even though you wont want to. Thats to avoid dehydration/tachycardia ( fast heart beat) as well as using the motrin will keep the heart rate down because it goes up when you have a fever.
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