[speedkitten]

Just wondering how your man feels about you riding with another dude......


this subject is so touchy with mine......I have never ridden with any other men w/o him....so Im curious to see how this next summer is going to be, already i have made alot of friends who ride but they are all men, there are hardly any riders that are women in washington it seems so when a friend asks me to come ride with him I wonder how thats gonna fly...especially because he is not a big "group rider"....:confused

 

[KBOlsen]

If your relationship is based on mutual trust and respect, it shouldn't be an issue.

 

[1fastchick]

:shrug If he can't handle you riding with other guy friends I'd run away now! Not walk RUN. If there is no trust there isn't a relationship. Unless you have a bad track record with him or given him reason to doubt you then he shouldn't have issues over it

 

[zlicius]

Um, that's about all there is to ride w/ around here. Any of the men I'd ride w/ are his friends, so it's really a non-issue... but I agree w/ Nikki all the way, stay the hell outta that relationship if he is that "wacked". :shake

 

[msstang808]

I normally would ride with my guy friends anyhow if I wasn't riding with the ladies of Dangerous Curves. My hubby doesn't ride and I have alot of male friends who do ride. He knows the people that I ride with so he's cool with it and he knows I wouldn't ride with anyone that couldn't be trusted to help take care of me in the event that something were to happen (God forbid). Besides, some of these guys helped me learn how to ride, in addition to the MSF course. And I've been a pillion before I got my own bike and hubby was okay with that.

 

[yamahagirl]

My boy doesn't ride either, and he nows when I go out its cool. He doesn't mind. Sometimes he comes with I am hoping to get him riding next year, but we will see. I have a 250 for him, I am just waiting to get it in my garage Its taking some time and tracking down to get to it.

 

[speedkitten]

I suppose I should nto have left this out....... I am not trying to sound like everyone wants me but well his friends who also ride have already tried to get with me and also some other people who we sort of knew that we thought was cool to ride with has tried too...it seems like almost every guy has tried to get with me or hit on me and i tell him about these men also even when they hit on me or whatever and on top of all that one of the guys has already caused lots of drama between me and my man to try and break us up so i can kinda see where he is coming from about being weary of who Im gonna ride with......i finally found a very few that hasnt tried anything so far anyway.....everyone knows Im taken and very happily taken also I am not a flirt so I dont understand this......

At one point I can see what you ladies mean...he should trust me and what not but at the same time I see his point in not wanting me in a wierd situation especially with everything thats already happened people trying to cause drama for us....I have to admit I wouldnt want him riding around with a bunch of chicks that want to break us up.....or even men for that matter.

 

[cmikimoto]

Speedkitten: I've been trying desparately to find another femm to ride with. I live in North Bend WA, I've got some great roads out here. You wanna hook up in the spring? What part of Seattle do you live? If you're interested I'll give you my #.

 

[1fastchick]

Maybe it is time to look for some new friends????

 

[azoomm]

speedkitten ~ I understand the idea of drama, and right, some guys don't help the matter. :rant Does he know these "new guys" that you have found? Perhaps if he knew them and understood that they don't want to start drama he would be more comfortable with you going riding with them.

 

[ninjakel]

My Boyfriend has no issues with it....I rode with my guy friends before we dated, so its a non issue for me

 

[RSixxygrl]

I have had this situation. The guy I was dating says he could handle me riding with guys but when it came down to it, he really couldn't, even though he has been on some of the rides. Being the only female that rides, it sometimes causes guys to be flirty or rib me about something. He has seen this more on the msg board we are all on and he feels bad about it. But I said you have to trust me and if you can't then it's not going to work. I have always had more male friends than female friends and I let guys know that from the start. My friends don't start any drama, they know if I am involved that it's off limits.

New friends, yes you need some. I don't think you need to tell your guy though about every other guy hitting on you. It really doesn't do anything except make the other person mad.

 

[Shay]

mutual trust...

I'm probably going to come off as being on the side of your SO here, but I've been on the other side of this.
One of my X's hung out and had girl "ridding buddies" and I thought it was all a bunch of B.S.
I heard the whole "If you love me you'll trust me" crap, and that's all it is, is crap.
He was the kind of guy that girls would migrate to and flirt with, didn't matter if they knew about me or not, even the couple of times that I was around, his body language was different.
I think it goes beyond the trusting thing, it's also about common courtesy, I never felt he had any business hanging out with his "girl buddies" any more than he would've liked me haning out with some guy buds.
It got old real quick when he'd say "Sorry, but I already made plans to go ridding with Beth and Carrol..."

I don't think he ever cheated on me with any of them, but I'm sure the temptation was there.

Besides, if HE really loved me, HE would not have done things that would have bother HIM if I was the one doing them.

The trusting thing ?
You earn it.
It doesn't automatically come with the title of being someone's SO.
And making time and going on adventures with people that are flirting with you every chance they get ain't earning squat.

 

[EpyonXero]

Youre riding your own bike, right?

After checking your site out I can see why guy are always hitting on you but the fact is that your boyfriend is going to have to get used to it, its going to happen no matter what youre doing. If I was in his situation I'd want go on a ride or two with the group just to meet the guys your riding with. After that its all about trust.

(btw, I dont understand how some other guy would be able to create drama from nothing :confused)

 

[caramel]

speedkitten said:
Just wondering how your man feels about you riding with another dude......


this subject is so touchy with mine......I have never ridden with any other men w/o him....so Im curious to see how this next summer is going to be, already i have made alot of friends who ride but they are all men, there are hardly any riders that are women in washington it seems so when a friend asks me to come ride with him I wonder how thats gonna fly...especially because he is not a big "group rider"....:confused

heres another female rider for you too hook up with. I love to hit up the twisties and do the group rides in the spring/summer. sadly is usually me an one other woman are the only females on these rides, but the guys we ride with are cool as hell. Check the WA forum for our rides. I stay a lil ways out, but I travel for some good corners with no traffic. PM me when you ready to ride

 

[MissHell]

Re: riding with "men"

My current and last b/f both ride and I have only ridden with them and their friends, never "other" guys. I am not sure how my current SO would feel, he probably wouldn't like it. I think more because I should be loyal to our group, not that he cares I am riding with "other men".

1fastchick said:
:shrug If he can't handle you riding with other guy friends I'd run away now! Not walk RUN. If there is no trust there isn't a relationship. Unless you have a bad track record with him or given him reason to doubt you then he shouldn't have issues over it

Shay said:
I'm probably going to come off as being on the side of your SO here, but I've been on the other side of this.
One of my X's hung out and had girl "ridding buddies" and I thought it was all a bunch of B.S.
I heard the whole "If you love me you'll trust me" crap, and that's all it is, is crap.
He was the kind of guy that girls would migrate to and flirt with, didn't matter if they knew about me or not, even the couple of times that I was around, his body language was different.
I think it goes beyond the trusting thing, it's also about common courtesy, I never felt he had any business hanging out with his "girl buddies" any more than he would've liked me haning out with some guy buds.
It got old real quick when he'd say "Sorry, but I already made plans to go ridding with Beth and Carrol..."

I can really see both sides... yes I think he should trust you, it's a male-dominated sport - mostly likely you are going to be riding with males. However if the role was reversed and my SO was hanging out with all chicks, I wouldn't be all that happy about it. If he rides also, I don't see any reason why you won't be riding together.

msstang808 said:
I normally would ride with my guy friends anyhow if I wasn't riding with the ladies of Dangerous Curves.

Our group started because one of the original gal's SO... absolutely under NO circumstances can she ride with men, thus the "no men allowed" rule started. It has worked out to be a novelty that we are an all women group, but that's the reason for it... not that we were trying to be "special". :shrug

 

[Shay]

If he rides also...

I agree, if he rides, you two should be ridding together.
It was my experience that he didn't feel good about me being around when his "friends" were there because he was making sure I didn't see how he behaved with them, (and how he let them behave with him).
Personally I feel like someone that gets more excited about hanging out with their opposite sex friends without their SO being around has got something to hide.
Could be they've got a crush thing going on with one of them, or they're making sure they're not slamming the door on something that might work out in case their SO relationship craters.
Or they're just sluts by nature and they can't seem to live without the extra attention they're getting by hanging out with them.

Sounds like you need to figure out who and whats more important to you.

 

[speedkitten]

thanks for all the feedback guys....

cmikimoto: Id love to try and hookup in the spring that would be awesome.....Ill shoot you my personal email and then we can exchange numbers and take it from there! I am in the edmonds/mountlake terrace area.

1fastchick: well its like this ...I try to look for peopel to ride with for both of us , I let it be known that Im very taken and am just looking for cool peopel to ride with because we hardly ride with anyone.....after we have the cool chit chat it turns into something else like....overly flirtacious comments which Im not cool with so after somethign like that I dont even talk to people of that nature because I tell them I am taken and happy from the get go and they go and do that anyway.....so they are not so much as friends but potential friends...but I agree I need to meet some normal people....

azoomm: yea he knows that Im always talkin to people like online that ride to maybe hang with but Im just worried about what he is gonan say if one day I want to ride on my own...but your right if he were to really get to know some of the peopel who have been cool so far he would feel better about the situation.

Rsixxygirl: yea i knwo I shouldnt tell him about every time one of them hits on me but Im not trying to hide anything from him either even though it woudl probabalybe better...the old dont ask dont tell policy....


Shay: I dont plan on spending any kind of time with people that are hitting on me, I do agree that you should earn trust but I also believe there should be some level of trust at the beginning, but we arent inthe beginning of our relationship and I have never done anything for him to not trust me...but I do understand where you are coming from.

epyonxero: Yes I do ride/own my own bike Yea Im thinking thats the way I will have to do it if I am ever going to ride without him with other men....so that he can meet them get to know them so he is more than just a name or her man to them...i suppose that would make it less likely for them to try to hit on me or whatever....oh and the guy that caused a load of drama...well we knew him already he actually knew my boyfriend before i did anyways only rode with him once together and he seemed cool but I started talking to him thinking he was a cool mature person that would respect me and my man and he ended up trying to break us up by telling me lies about my boyfriend and saying I should ditch him pretty much...i ended all communication with him after that.

caramel: Yea same as ckmikimotot we'll have to exchange email addys and keep in touch then meet up sometime!

Shay: He is more important to me than anything but its always nice to have a group of people to ride with plus i was hoping to find a cool group that didnt act like fools for us to ride with ...Im not trying to ride with men and not women Im saying there is not many women in the state who ride and so far I know of only 3 counting the 2 that just wrote to me in this thread...and I will ride with them no doubt but Im not gonna sit and here and not make friends or look for other people to ride with....besides im looking for people WE could ride with not just me when I talk to other sportbiker people in my area Im just saying if there is ever a day when he is doing his own thing and some of my guyfriends might want to head out on a ride....I want to be sure he isnt going to bug out on me.......Im not more excited about riding with the opposite sex Im more excited about riding with other women honestly....I wish there were a ton of women sportbike riders out here then I woudlnt have even started this thread to begin with....Im fully comfortable with my SO being around my guy friends or any friends for that matter but Im not comfortable with riding with other men if I know he isnt cool with it hence the start of this thread.....if I wanted to just go out and ride with whomever whether they hit on me or not for whatever reason be it Im a slut by nature or just want attention then I would and woudlnt worry about what he thinks and I would never have started this discussion.

 

[Shay]

speedkitten

Didn't mean to imply that you were interested in hooking up with guy riders because it made you feel all warm and fuzzy, as I don't know you.

Just hit a cord reading "if he trusts you he'll be OK with it"
and "Run if he doesn't " etc.

I was pulling from my own experience with having to deal with this from the other end, seeing first hand the behavioral differences in him when he was "scheduled" or "planed" a ride with his friends. It went from a couple here and there, to every chance he got.
Even some of the girls I'd ride with would get all pumped up when their guys weren't around and acted all happy and flirty.
It never started like that, but it always headed in that direction. Pretty soon it was like the guy was never around any more, they'd always say "he's busy".
I attributed that to a strange and simple need for attention.
Don't get me wrong, I like attention as much as the next girl, just that alot of the people that I've run into (especially when it comes to some sporting activity, bikes, ridding, whatever ), are obsessed with the high they get from being the center of attention. (they'd never admit it though).

Couples that play together, stay together.
And couple that don't play together are really not head over heals for one another.
I mean, what good is it being out and having a great time if your feeling " wish he was here to see this..."

Personally (no, not you), If someone was doing something that they thought their partner wasn't OK with, then it's a sign of disrespect to go out and do it.
Again, this only applies to things that you wouldn't be OK with if they were the ones doing it.

Good luck.

 

[caramel]

speedkitten said:
thanks for all the feedback guys....



Shay: He is more important to me than anything but its always nice to have a group of people to ride with plus i was hoping to find a cool group that didnt act like fools for us to ride with ...Im not trying to ride with men and not women Im saying there is not many women in the state who ride and so far I know of only 3 counting the 2 that just wrote to me in this thread...and I will ride with them no doubt but Im not gonna sit and here and not make friends or look for other people to ride with....besides im looking for people WE could ride with not just me when I talk to other sportbiker people in my area Im just saying if there is ever a day when he is doing his own thing and some of my guyfriends might want to head out on a ride....I want to be sure he isnt going to bug out on me.......Im not more excited about riding with the opposite sex Im more excited about riding with other women honestly....I wish there were a ton of women sportbike riders out here then I woudlnt have even started this thread to begin with....Im fully comfortable with my SO being around my guy friends or any friends for that matter but Im not comfortable with riding with other men if I know he isnt cool with it hence the start of this thread.....if I wanted to just go out and ride with whomever whether they hit on me or not for whatever reason be it Im a slut by nature or just want attention then I would and woudlnt worry about what he thinks and I would never have started this discussion.

speed kitten-
If you truly love riding than it really doesn't matter if you ride with women or men. Personally I ride with one other woman and the rest are men, and that has never been a problem. We all share the same passion for bikes and thats it. If he has a problem with you riding with someone other than women, then maybe you should evaluate the relationship. Sounds to me like he maybe a lil jealous, but thats just the impression that you gave.