how does your man feel?

I suppose I should nto have left this out....... I am not trying to sound like everyone wants me but well his friends who also ride have already tried to get with me and also some other people who we sort of knew that we thought was cool to ride with has tried too...it seems like almost every guy has tried to get with me or hit on me and i tell him about these men also even when they hit on me or whatever and on top of all that one of the guys has already caused lots of drama between me and my man to try and break us up so i can kinda see where he is coming from about being weary of who Im gonna ride with......i finally found a very few that hasnt tried anything so far anyway.....everyone knows Im taken and very happily taken also I am not a flirt so I dont understand this......

At one point I can see what you ladies mean...he should trust me and what not but at the same time I see his point in not wanting me in a wierd situation especially with everything thats already happened people trying to cause drama for us....I have to admit I wouldnt want him riding around with a bunch of chicks that want to break us up.....or even men for that matter.

mutual trust...

I'm probably going to come off as being on the side of your SO here, but I've been on the other side of this.
One of my X's hung out and had girl "ridding buddies" and I thought it was all a bunch of B.S.
I heard the whole "If you love me you'll trust me" crap, and that's all it is, is crap.
He was the kind of guy that girls would migrate to and flirt with, didn't matter if they knew about me or not, even the couple of times that I was around, his body language was different.
I think it goes beyond the trusting thing, it's also about common courtesy, I never felt he had any business hanging out with his "girl buddies" any more than he would've liked me haning out with some guy buds.
It got old real quick when he'd say "Sorry, but I already made plans to go ridding with Beth and Carrol..."

I don't think he ever cheated on me with any of them, but I'm sure the temptation was there.

Besides, if HE really loved me, HE would not have done things that would have bother HIM if I was the one doing them.

The trusting thing ?
You earn it.
It doesn't automatically come with the title of being someone's SO.
And making time and going on adventures with people that are flirting with you every chance they get ain't earning squat.

thanks for all the feedback guys....

cmikimoto: Id love to try and hookup in the spring that would be awesome.....Ill shoot you my personal email and then we can exchange numbers and take it from there! I am in the edmonds/mountlake terrace area.

1fastchick: well its like this ...I try to look for peopel to ride with for both of us , I let it be known that Im very taken and am just looking for cool peopel to ride with because we hardly ride with anyone.....after we have the cool chit chat it turns into something else like....overly flirtacious comments which Im not cool with so after somethign like that I dont even talk to people of that nature because I tell them I am taken and happy from the get go and they go and do that anyway.....so they are not so much as friends but potential friends...but I agree I need to meet some normal people....

azoomm: yea he knows that Im always talkin to people like online that ride to maybe hang with but Im just worried about what he is gonan say if one day I want to ride on my own...but your right if he were to really get to know some of the peopel who have been cool so far he would feel better about the situation.

Rsixxygirl: yea i knwo I shouldnt tell him about every time one of them hits on me but Im not trying to hide anything from him either even though it woudl probabalybe better...the old dont ask dont tell policy....


Shay: I dont plan on spending any kind of time with people that are hitting on me, I do agree that you should earn trust but I also believe there should be some level of trust at the beginning, but we arent inthe beginning of our relationship and I have never done anything for him to not trust me...but I do understand where you are coming from.

epyonxero: Yes I do ride/own my own bike Yea Im thinking thats the way I will have to do it if I am ever going to ride without him with other men....so that he can meet them get to know them so he is more than just a name or her man to them...i suppose that would make it less likely for them to try to hit on me or whatever....oh and the guy that caused a load of drama...well we knew him already he actually knew my boyfriend before i did anyways only rode with him once together and he seemed cool but I started talking to him thinking he was a cool mature person that would respect me and my man and he ended up trying to break us up by telling me lies about my boyfriend and saying I should ditch him pretty much...i ended all communication with him after that.

caramel: Yea same as ckmikimotot we'll have to exchange email addys and keep in touch then meet up sometime!

Shay: He is more important to me than anything but its always nice to have a group of people to ride with plus i was hoping to find a cool group that didnt act like fools for us to ride with ...Im not trying to ride with men and not women Im saying there is not many women in the state who ride and so far I know of only 3 counting the 2 that just wrote to me in this thread...and I will ride with them no doubt but Im not gonna sit and here and not make friends or look for other people to ride with....besides im looking for people WE could ride with not just me when I talk to other sportbiker people in my area Im just saying if there is ever a day when he is doing his own thing and some of my guyfriends might want to head out on a ride....I want to be sure he isnt going to bug out on me.......Im not more excited about riding with the opposite sex Im more excited about riding with other women honestly....I wish there were a ton of women sportbike riders out here then I woudlnt have even started this thread to begin with....Im fully comfortable with my SO being around my guy friends or any friends for that matter but Im not comfortable with riding with other men if I know he isnt cool with it hence the start of this thread.....if I wanted to just go out and ride with whomever whether they hit on me or not for whatever reason be it Im a slut by nature or just want attention then I would and woudlnt worry about what he thinks and I would never have started this discussion.

speedkitten

Didn't mean to imply that you were interested in hooking up with guy riders because it made you feel all warm and fuzzy, as I don't know you.

Just hit a cord reading "if he trusts you he'll be OK with it"
and "Run if he doesn't " etc.

I was pulling from my own experience with having to deal with this from the other end, seeing first hand the behavioral differences in him when he was "scheduled" or "planed" a ride with his friends. It went from a couple here and there, to every chance he got.
Even some of the girls I'd ride with would get all pumped up when their guys weren't around and acted all happy and flirty.
It never started like that, but it always headed in that direction. Pretty soon it was like the guy was never around any more, they'd always say "he's busy".
I attributed that to a strange and simple need for attention.
Don't get me wrong, I like attention as much as the next girl, just that alot of the people that I've run into (especially when it comes to some sporting activity, bikes, ridding, whatever ), are obsessed with the high they get from being the center of attention. (they'd never admit it though).

Couples that play together, stay together.
And couple that don't play together are really not head over heals for one another.
I mean, what good is it being out and having a great time if your feeling " wish he was here to see this..."

Personally (no, not you), If someone was doing something that they thought their partner wasn't OK with, then it's a sign of disrespect to go out and do it.
Again, this only applies to things that you wouldn't be OK with if they were the ones doing it.

Good luck.