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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Folks always ask me how to get out of a ticket. There is no magic phrase or secret handshake, not even for cops. However there are some ways to convince a cop to write one. There are list out on the net that cite humorous examples.

I decided to start my own list for you guys. I'll update these as they happen.

  • When asked about your aggressive driving and having all of your infractions enumerated for you. Don't state that you always drive that way.
  • When asked about the "No right turn on red" sign you ignored. Don't state that you cannot read English.
  • When asked about your following too closely. Don't state that the car in front of you was going too slow while simultaneously admitting that the car in front was going the speed limit and you were speeding.
  • When asked about why you were driving on the grassy median to pass cars on the left. Don't exclaim, "Look at this traffic. It is crazy here!"

That is just from today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
 

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Hoof Hearted
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:clap

People never cease to amaze me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
All of it. Usually the Annandale/Alex/Springfield area. I commute in and out on I66 often, so run into idiots there. Going to and from my area on Rt236 and Braddock finds a few. Went to Tysons to serve a protective order led me to the grassy median driving fool. Sometimes I commute on Clifton and Henderson road, but it is hard to make a safe traffic stop there, so you gotta be a big danger to get pulled by me. However there are a few good spots for my radar toting brethren to sit. If I get on Motors this spring, I'll be coming in on Clifton and Henderson all the damn time.:D
 

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Hoof Hearted
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I was speeding pretty bad one day on the way home from a friend's place. It's only about 4 miles or so from here with most of that on a quick stretch on 220/581. I was probably doing 90 when I went to pass another car. When I was in the process of going by that car I looked over and realized it was an unmarked. I nodded and slowed back down and got behind him. The reason I was going so fast is I had to shit so bad it hurt. If I would've got pulled over I really would have shit my pants since I almost didn't make it up the three flights of steps and into the bathroom once I got home. That would've sucked - for both of us. :)
 

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I feel you man. Sometimes you just get no warning.

Barry
 

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Monsterator
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GoGo Gadget said:
All of it. Usually the Annandale/Alex/Springfield area. I commute in and out on I66 often, so run into idiots there. Going to and from my area on Rt236 and Braddock finds a few. Went to Tysons to serve a protective order led me to the grassy median driving fool. Sometimes I commute on Clifton and Henderson road, but it is hard to make a safe traffic stop there, so you gotta be a big danger to get pulled by me. However there are a few good spots for my radar toting brethren to sit. If I get on Motors this spring, I'll be coming in on Clifton and Henderson all the damn time.:D
This is just something I have always wondered...

If you are on your way to/way home from work, and you see someone speeding/driving erratically/being a dumb ass, can you pull them over? Even though you aren't officially clocked in for the day? (Do you guys have to clock in?) Anyway... I think you know what I am getting at.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
KwayZeeyT said:
This is just something I have always wondered...

If you are on your way to/way home from work, and you see someone speeding/driving erratically/being a dumb ass, can you pull them over? Even though you aren't officially clocked in for the day? (Do you guys have to clock in?) Anyway... I think you know what I am getting at.
I do it all the time. If I am in the county I am at work. I stop for plenty of stuff outside the county that is public safety related. Car fires, accidents, stuff like that. Nothing LEO related though.


New from this morning.
  • Q: Why are you driving in the dark without any lights?
  • A: I don't know where the light switch is.
:confused Maybe you should not be driving before dawn then?
 

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Get a Pair
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More things not to say to Todd...

"I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer." (This is only okay in Texas.)

"Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."

"Aren't you the guy from the Village People?"

"Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 to keep up with me. Good job!"

"Are You Andy or Barney?"

"I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer!?!"

"You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"

"I pay your salary!"

"Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!"

"Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does."

"I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead they are."

When the Officer says, "Gee Son... your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"... you probably shouldn't respond with: "Gee Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

:D :crackup :nanana
 

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GoGo Gadget said:
If I get on Motors this spring, I'll be coming in on Clifton and Henderson all the damn time.:D
:clap I hope you get a Motorcop slot.

Do sportbike riders try to outrun Motorcops? (The answer is probably a yes, but I'm guessing more bikes run from patrol cars).
 

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^RULES^
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lol people seriously dont give you excuses like the ones you posted to they?
If someone insulted my intelligence like that, the measuring tape would come out and I'd start giving tickets for a muffler thats not 8" off the ground etc.

looking scared works for me. let him know whos the alpha dog, and your his proverbial puppy dog bitch. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
martino said:
lol people seriously dont give you excuses like the ones you posted to they?
Yes, that is the point of this thread, I decided to start posting the ones I get personally. Some people baffle me, when I am in a bad mood, my smart ass side comes out and I start throwing comments back at them. Usually it is a "Wait right here" and I go back to write. Like when the guy flashed his CIA badge at me and said the reason he was speeding in the HOV lanes alone was because he was late for an important meeting at the "Agency". I told him I understood and would try to write quickly.

I think I already posted about the guy trying to flash a Fed Ex security badge to get out of a ticket. :rolleyes
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Woman gets tired of waiting in the right lane that is not moving, so she changes lanes almost striking me as I was coming up on her left. I had to brake hard and swerve left into the opposite lane. Had there been S/B traffic, I would not have been able to avoid it and she would have struck me.

When pulled over, she tells me in broken Engrish that she is sick and her palms are sweaty, so her hands slipped off the steering wheel. I asked, "So you are so sick that you cannot safely operate this vehicle on the highways of the Commonwealth?" She nods affirmitively. I ask, "So your hands slipped off the steering wheel causing your vehicle to accelerate hard and turn left into me?" She again nodded affirmitively and reiterated that she was sick. This went on for awhile, I was trying to get her to see that being too sick to drive was an excuse for driving dangerously. When I returned with the ticket, she again went into her sick excuse routine, so we started over again. Not having the time to entertain this notion much longer, I said to her two boys, "Hey kids, help your mom out here before she gets into deeper trouble." After a rapid fire staccatto of Korean between the three of them, she signed the ticket.


She arrives in court and recounts her sick tale. She gets a $20 fine.

A month later I get a subpeona to go to circuit court. She is appealing her conviction. WTF??? I am all for using the criminal justice system, but christ, what a waste of time. This is only the second ticket I have had appealed, both were asian housewives. What the hell is up with that? Are Korean/Japanese/Chinese women allowed to drive however they want over there without repercussion?
 

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Goddamn, we have some major nimrods operating cars... uh, and bikes.

Barry
 

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I've heard how profiling is wrong and all, but could it be that cultural patterns, that shape specific lifestyles, have an effect on other parts of life, like driving? I cannot help but wonder if there is some ghost of a link there. Like if I went to a foreign country and drove the way I do, I might be seen as crazy. Or maybe even driving the way I do here, but in another state.

There has to be some parallel in how people interact with other people based on culture, that carries over to how they interact in their car to other people in their cars.

But, maybe in this case, the driver just didn't see you and didn't want to admit the error to avoid admission of guilt? Maybe just working the system to avoid handing you grounds for the ticket, and culturally you are taught to fight for your rights? If you drive around in chinatown though, it wouldn't seem odd if you always pulled over the typical resident of chinatown... maybe the area is overly populated by that profile of person by coincidence?
 
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