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Discussion Starter #1
OK, this is about male/female stuff. But it's NOT about sex so I didn't want to post it in the bedroom.

Here's the scenario:

You've known each other for a month. When you've gotten together it's always on your side of town so the other person has stayed at your place when you've been drinking or otherwise wish to spend the night together. Other person asks if you're down with that in advance and you feel like after the first time it's happened it isn't a needed question anymore. On a couple of occassions when you've had to go to work early and they don't have to, you let them stay until they wake up.

And then...the time comes when you hang on their side of town. You're going to go out for cocktails. Do you assume you're going to be staying at their place? If they are weird about you staying at their place because you didn't ask, what do you think? (They are starting their first day at a new job the next morning at 10 also.) And further, if they say they are a private person in general and feel weird about you staying after they leave, what do you think?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts....
 

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BLESS YOUR HEART
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You choose your own destiny. Since couples spend time together, they assume trust. This gives you direction. If there's a fork in the road, which way do you take? Decisions, decisions. Choose to take the scenic route or the most economical route to your destination. There are no wrong choices, unless your parents are judging! This is what makes relationships most exciting. Doesn't matter where you go, its how you get there!
 

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Maybe his place is dirty and he didn't clean it before you got there or he is embarrassed because his place isn't as nice as yours. Any roommates? Other girls?
 

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You return the favour by asking ahead of time. You don't assume things in a relationship. You find out.
 

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Plan on a way home. And if he invites stay. If not, go home. Nothing puts a man off more than a woman who makes assumptions about the two of them.

A fine example, A guy could be nailing a chick for months. And unless they discuss the situation and make it official. They're not together.
 

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Ask ahead of time. If his house is a wreck, he'll have time to get it together for you.:laughing
 

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Ask, never assume. How does the saying go?? Assume and you make an Ass of U and Me ;)

Previous convenience asside, it would be respectful to ask first.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Akiata said:
Maybe his place is dirty and he didn't clean it before you got there or he is embarrassed because his place isn't as nice as yours. Any roommates? Other girls?
Oh, no. I went to his place, we went out, went back to his place after that and then this came up.

I wonder if this is a "mars/venus" thing and would be interested to see some women post.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
azoomm said:
Ask, never assume. How does the saying go?? Assume and you make an Ass of U and Me ;)

Previous convenience asside, it would be respectful to ask first.
OK, so it's not mars/venus!! :laughing I started to post and then got a phone call and posted before seeing this!
 

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2up said:
OK, so it's not mars/venus!! :laughing I started to post and then got a phone call and posted before seeing this!
:laughing ;)
 

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I think if he's been to your place on your side of town then he should expect for the same thing to happen when on his side of town. I guess asking the first time would be nice, but gee, you'd think he'd figure "well I've been in her place she'll probably want to come to mine" .. but then again, guys aren't that smart ;)
 

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2up said:
Oh, no. I went to his place, we went out, went back to his place after that and then this came up.

I wonder if this is a "mars/venus" thing and would be interested to see some women post.
So you're asking for advice AFTER you needed it? That doesn't work very well :nanana

Do you know how tough it can be to juggle two women when one doesn't stick to the schedule? :redflip
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Papa_Complex said:
So you're asking for advice AFTER you needed it? That doesn't work very well :nanana
Yeah, I know. BUT, my objective was to figure out if I had over-stepped my boundaries or if he was being high-maintenance. I've had a lot of heavy stuff going on this week and thinking clearly apparently was NOT on my agenda last night! :laughing


Papa_Complex said:
Do you know how tough it can be to juggle two women when one doesn't stick to the schedule? :redflip
Very funny!! :p While we are both free to date other people should we so choose, we have agreed to not be intimate with others.
 

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the first time you stay over at his place make sure to leave a toothbrush prominently displayed in the bathroom. and leave a sticky note that says "michelle's toothbrush! :) " and dot your "i" with a heart.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
thunderex said:
the first time you stay over at his place make sure to leave a toothbrush prominently displayed in the bathroom. and leave a sticky note that says "michelle's toothbrush! :) " and dot your "i" with a heart.
You're such a retard Jeff!!! But this has me LAUGHING hysterically!!

Yeah, I'm not "that girl". I put all my stuff (jewelry, etc) in my purse so there is NO CHANCE of me leaving it there by mistake. I don't ever want someone to have to see me again because "oh, oops" I left my earrings at his place. :rolleyes
 

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I would say that you should've asked first, but if he got weirded out by the idea of you staying there, I would bet that he's hiding something.

edit: This is Lindsey
 

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I say ask.....dont assume....:)

2UP if you would want to date me you could stay at my house and you wouldnt even have to ask. As long as you dont mind roses and soft kisses on your neck while your trying to sleep.:p

Sorry I got off topic....see what he says...if he says.."Read for bed?" Thats a your staying right type thing....but if he says...Well I best be getting off to bed ....then thats when you say alright...talk to you later.

Joe
 

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HpiRally said:
I say ask.....dont assume....:)

2UP if you would want to date me you could stay at my house and you wouldnt even have to ask. As long as you dont mind roses and soft kisses on your neck while your trying to sleep.:p

Sorry I got off topic....see what he says...if he says.."Read for bed?" Thats a your staying right type thing....but if he says...Well I best be getting off to bed ....then thats when you say alright...talk to you later.

Joe
And on the opposite end of the spectrum.. If you want a man who has the cab on the way before your panties are back on.. Give this guy a call. :D
 

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Hahahahahaha........nope...:rant

You dont know me very well do you Nick name.....I am the offical Cycle Forums Mangina..:) The ONLY male allowed to post in CA.:crackup

Joe
 

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Discussion Starter #20
chris_y2k_r1 said:
I would say that you should've asked first, but if he got weirded out by the idea of you staying there, I would bet that he's hiding something.

edit: This is Lindsey
If he didn't want me staying there after he left or staying the night?

The reason for not wanting me to stay the night was that it was his first day at a new job today, and we have a habit of not going to sleep early, or anything like it. We are both night people and have to force ourselves to go to sleep at a quasi decent hour whether someone is with us or not. :shrug

About me staying after he'd left, I dig why to some people that isn't comfy in a new, um, thing. (The "r" word isn't something I'm remotely ready to say.) My perspective on having let him stay here is that if he's the type who'd go through my stuff he's going to see some things he doesn't want to, AND, were I ever to find out, he'd be gone. :shrug And for my side of things, I don't snoop. I don't want to find out anything until he's ready to tell me.
 
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