Cycle Forums: Motorcycle and Sportbikes Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
574 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

I.
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per house-hold; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would need 360,000 of them.

This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV.
600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop 650 mps in 001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

V.
Therefore, if Santa does exist, he's dead now.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,574 Posts
dmp said:
uh...but santa uses 'magic', NOT 'physics' :D :)

:D
yeah! how do you think he get dem reindeer to fly? majic dust. a little majic dust for santa clause, a litlle majic dust for the reindeer, a little more for santa claus, a little more for santa claus, a little more for santa claus...

...and santa's old lady used to make the BEST brownies. they were so good, i could eat just one!



(sorry but l really like that one) :crackup
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
196 Posts
Hey, that's all a bunch of bunk and you know it!!!!

There's only 2.3 children per household, not 3.5. There, I feel better now. :)
 

·
glad to be here
Joined
·
968 Posts
monkey1 said:
yeah! how do you think he get dem reindeer to fly? majic dust. a little majic dust for santa clause, a litlle majic dust for the reindeer, a little more for santa claus, a little more for santa claus, a little more for santa claus...

...and santa's old lady used to make the BEST brownies. they were so good, i could eat just one!



(sorry but l really like that one) :crackup
You beat me to it!:crackup "Santa Claus and his old lady" is classic.

Yeah, I jammed with that cat once, man.
No, Santa Claus is not a musician!
I'm hip, man. That cat didn't know any tunes!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
869 Posts
Someone missed a few points, some engineer they are.....


Here is the rest of the story....

First off santa is not Christian so he doesn't care what you believe he stops at all the houses... even a few Islamic... Well only a few... because of jihad...

108,000,000 Homes... Wow and you know everyone leaves cookies and milk out for him and he eats at least two of then and drinks about half or more of the glass of milk maybe 6 ounces....

Sooooooo, :eek what does that mean?

At 2,5 ounces for the cookies it comes out to an additional weight load 10.1 million pounds of cookies and the 6 oz glasses of milk. adds up to 5.06 Gallons or an additional 41.5 million pounds added to the above 10 million plus pounds of cookies...

Sooooo I would estimate santa is full of...... :eek :eek Well you know 51.6 MILLION Pounds of crap Now during his journey what houses does he leave all that at?

Otherwise he would have to make an additional 6.7 million potty stops... and if he don't do that then that is one hell of a big miracle too... :laughing :laughing :laughing :laughing :laughing
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
574 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
MoreRoadRacing said:
Someone missed a few points, some engineer they are.....


Here is the rest of the story....

First off santa is not Christian so he doesn't care what you believe he stops at all the houses... even a few Islamic... Well only a few... because of jihad...

108,000,000 Homes... Wow and you know everyone leaves cookies and milk out for him and he eats at least two of then and drinks about half or more of the glass of milk maybe 6 ounces....

Sooooooo, :eek what does that mean?

At 2,5 ounces for the cookies it comes out to an additional weight load 10.1 million pounds of cookies and the 6 oz glasses of milk. adds up to 5.06 Gallons or an additional 41.5 million pounds added to the above 10 million plus pounds of cookies...

Sooooo I would estimate santa is full of...... :eek :eek Well you know 51.6 MILLION Pounds of crap Now during his journey what houses does he leave all that at?

Otherwise he would have to make an additional 6.7 million potty stops... and if he don't do that then that is one hell of a big miracle too... :laughing :laughing :laughing :laughing :laughing

:hail.............:lol.............:crackup :crackup
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,154 Posts
Gee, Charles, you got me thinking...maybe those lumps in the stocking of all the bad children are NOT coal....
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top