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Bike Bastardizer
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1,265 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Thought I'd post this again. It's only been a year :redflip

'Twas the night before Christmas
and on CF dot com
All the regulars were surfing
even Rezin's mom!
The leathers were hung
in the closet with care
In hopes that some new Sidi's
would find their way there
The bikes were nestled all
snug in the shed
While visions of Moto GP
still danced in my head.

The wife in her undies
and me in the skin
Were talking about the next raffle
with hopes that we'd win
When out in the driveway
there rose such a clatter
Like a Ducati dry clutch
it made my teeth chatter
Away to the front door
I ran with a dash
Pulling on skivvies
so as not to flash.

The headlight that
lit the new fallen snow
Looked to be halogen or Xenon
it was tough to know
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
A stickered up racebike
that looked kinda queer
With a skinny young driver
that looked Italian and quick
Took a drag of his Marlboro
and gave it a flick.

More rapid than a gas stop
his pit crew all came
They started throwing parts
and called them by name
I need Ohlins and Metzler
Remus and Goodridge
I want Yoshi and Race Tech
Vortex and PitBull
"From the bottom of the pan
to the top of the screen
We'll cut the dead weight
and make it sound mean!"

With wrenches in hand
as with oil changes before
They stripped off the stock parts
and threw them on the floor
Then plugged in a laptop
and gave it a map
"We don't mess with carbs,
that's 1980's crap."
And then he punched "Enter"
and it was done
I looked at him quizzically
and he turned up his thumb.

As I thought to myself
"What have I done?"
My wife came into the garage
and started poking fun
She was dressed in a teddy
red satin, just right
Then asked where I would
be sleeping tonight
With a kiss and a nuzzle
she went back inside
Do I follow her in
or admire my ride?

The thought of the teddy
hiding her ass..
BAH! Open the tank
lets fill it with gas
They poured in the good stuff
you know what I mean
Hey, it's a racebike
it doesn't have to be green

The thump of the pipes
vibrated my teeth
They even shook the house,
man this was sweet!
With a body of carbon
suspension of gold
Tires so sticky
but not when they're cold
They said "Take a lap."
I wish that I could
this thing is so nice
It's giving me wood.

A wink of my eye
a twist of the grip
I click into first
and then let it rip
I watch the tack as it
speeds towards the red
I'd better pay attention
or I'll wind up dead
Into turn one I ride
with a flash
Better let the tires warm
so that I don't crash

I pull into the pit
and take off my lid
"Nice riding man,
your certainly no squid."
As they loaded their hauler
to speed out of sight
I heard them all say
"Merry Christmas to all,
don't get left at the light."
 

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Registered
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666 Posts
Cut, paste. Saved.
Awesome! :clap :clap :clap :clap :clap
 

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Mama's Little Joey
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14,769 Posts
"HI" to Rez's mom. You should have spanked him more.

Awesome poem. :thumb :thumb
 

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Registered
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2,215 Posts
Good shit
 

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Premium Member
Joined
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10,229 Posts
You hide almost all year and come with this at the end. Almost makes up for the absence:redflip

Nice job Neal:thumb Happy Holidays to you and yours.
 
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