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8,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A Riders Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring ... not even my spouse;
The Ohlins were hung from the fireplace with care,
In hopes that St. Nick soon would be there;
The engines were nestled all over the stead,
While visions of dynokits danced in their heads;
I dimmed the lights as I locked up my desk,
A nice lengthy ride and a well-deserved rest;
Then all of a sudden there came such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
What a terrible sound .. like an HD, a crash;
The lights they were blinking and beaming aglow,
Valentino Rossi was whispering "I know, I know";
When what to my wandering eyes should appear,
On a blazing Ducati ... I managed a cheer;
A little knee dragger, so lively and slick,
I knew in a moment it was St. Nick!
More rapid than Doohan, his angles insane,
He whistled and shouted like my old rusty chain.

Now, Hayden! Now, Bayliss!, Now, Roberts and Melandri
On Guzzi! On Honda, On Yamaha I see!

To the top of the apex, the bottom of the knee!
A thought of good riding, so happy and free!
As memory faded from drops and highsides,
The Elf cracked a smile and loosened his tie;
He was chubby and plump, said the place was a shack,
And I laughed when I saw him (in spite of him ).
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He was dressed from his head to his feet in a leather suit,
Saddle bags were heavy with St. Nick's spare loot.

With bundles of bits bulging out of his sack,
He looked like a fairing with a nice healthy crack.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Reseated valve clearances, then turned with a smirk;
"Give this a spin" and he gave me a shove
And onto my new bike, I knew it was love.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere leaving the site,
"Keep that chain lubed, and all will be right!"

8,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
For Rekoniz (a bit dated)

A DC Christmas!

T'was the night before christmas and all through DC,
not a creature was stirring except Marion B.

The streets were abandoned, while drug dealers slept,
but the mayor in his limo, through northwest he crept.

A silver spoon was hung from his neck with great care,
in hopes that Charles Lewis soon would be there.

When, all at once there arose such a clatter,
he halted his limo to see what was the matter.

And what, to his wondering eyes should appear,
but a pile of white powder, a mountain of cheer.

He jumped from the limo, lickety split.
Five minutes later the mayor was lit.

He snorted and shoveled that coke up his nose.
His eyes were all bloodshot and glowed like a rose.

Back to the limo he ran like a flash.
Now that that's gone let's go home to my stash.

I heard him exclaim with no hint of strife,
I'll snort if I like, I'm mayor for life.

8,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
For Tom

Twas the night before Christmas and all alone I sat,
so I turned on the computer for some on-line chat!
Into a room I entered quite caustiously,
when all of a sudden, someone I.M.'D me.
He described himself and sounded like a real cutie
But I didn't want to sound trollish or all tricky.
So I asked the boy "do you have a lover?"
And when he said no-------I invited him right over!!!
I washed my face and combed my hair
threw open my closet-"god, what should I wear!"
And then came a knock---I opened the door.
I asked him to step in so I could see him more.
Then with amazement and great surprise
stood antonio sabato right before my eyes!
This can't be real! I must be dreamin'!
There I stood with my boner, lawd, iwas creamin'!!!!!
He smiled and reached out. Boy, I was ready.
His grip was firm and hands-very steady!
It took just a moment---it didn't last long.
Then with a smile and a wink, antonio was gone.
But I really can't bitch, no need to complain.
Now if I can only remember the man's screen name.hmmmmm?

8,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
For SQ

T'was the fright before Christmas,
when all through my cave,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even my slave.

As I hung my fishnet stockings over the chimney with care
I heard St. Nick say,
*Leather Goddess,
Your new whips are over there*.

With a gleam in his eye,
he slid down his pants
Leather knew what to do
she was taking no chance.

As he climbed back up the chimney,
and onto the roof,
I heard whips cracking
and a reindeer's tiny little hoof.

As St. Nick climbed into his sleigh,
I hear him say to me,
* be naughty, dear Leather,
and I'll be back right away!*

As he flew off
and on out of sight,
Rudolph's nose and Santa's ass.......
Both glowed quite bright!

8,601 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good ride!

1,435 Posts
LMAO!! :crackup :crackup!

Merry Christmas Everyone!
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