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Discussion Starter #1
Fucking request today...:confused

Ok so my father has done some work for a company here in Denver when he worked as ground control at Logan Airport in Boston. He knew this guy and now since I have moved out here I have gotten to know the family well and so on.

Well they have a daughter who is 17, and I am 24.....well long story short me, her, and her brother who is 13 have all gone snowboarding together and so on. I have skateboarded with the brother and gone to skate parks mainly because I did those activities when I was younger and didnt have that older figure to take me and show me the ropes, kind of big brother like. Well today she calls me and we have a "serious" talk. She says that she is still a virgin and wants to have sex and she wants it to be with me because she said she is scared, and wants it to be with someone she feels is a good friend and a nice guy. I am kind of dumb founded, and I dont intend on acting on the request, but it hit me strange.

I can understand her concerns for it hurting and so on, and wanting to be with a guy who understands that and wont just pound away......but.....this is odd. Now what the fuck do I do.....tred lightly is what I plan on, but still....christmas dinner is going to spent at their house.:(

Help?
Joe
 

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Tell her to wait. Why rush in to it?

James
 

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Hit it. If she comes into this knowing it may be a one time thing. Then she may not regret her first time a couple of years down the road.

It seems like she's thought it out. And this could very well end up being the one. If you have any interest. DO NOT pass up an oppurtunity like this.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
That is exactly what I said....I told her to wait. I waited till I was 23...now 24 to have sex and I dont regret it one bit.

I am going to try and convince her to wait, but she seems pretty set on doing the act, she just wants to do it with me for comfort reason....:(

joe
 

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Wow, kinda sounds like a situation my Ex was in with this girl who's family looked at him as THEIR family. It weirded me out too.. Cause I'd be over his house, and her and her brother would come over and wrestle with my Ex.. and it was SOOO evident that she liked him alot. It made me really awkward.

Anyway, she was 17, and come to find out, he had since then married someone else and wound up cheating on his wife with this 17 year old. I guess he had a thing for her too.

I was always kinda wondering in the back of my mind about those two and sure enough, my intuition was correct. I think it was a stupid thing for him to do.

I think you are right in teling her to wait. She needs to understand early on the difference between friendships and sexual relationships. And by you standing your ground, I can guarantee you that she will be thanking you later. I bet you!
 

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Either she's got self-esteem issues about being a virgin, or she is actually interested in you.

If it's the former, that's really sad.......hell when I was 17 I'll bet only 15-20% were having sex......I think the figures in the media are inflated

From your previous posts you don't seem like the type of guy who would take advantage of the situation anyway. Which is good IMO.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
No I dont want her to sleep with me or any guy at this moment. She is a very bright girl, she has a lot going for her. She is very skilled in writing and does well in school. She is 17, but honestly I respect her more than most of the 23-25 year old girls I meet.

She is very confident in herself, so I dont think it is that, but you never know.

My concern JEWELZ is that she seemed in her words that she feels she is ready to take part in sex acts and that she wants it to be with me, but the concern part is that when I dont sleep with her she will go find someone else, and then later regret it. Make sense?

Joe
 

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Yea that makes sense, sorta. But if she's as mature as you say she is... she will make the right decision. The right decision for her. Its really not of your concern only being a friend of the family's. Ya know? Girls/Guys WILL make mistakes in their lives.. its what builds character. She needs to build character on her own terms and not drag you into it.
 

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Nobody here can really tell you what to do. Its best this decision is done on your own. Do what you feel is right..but if i were you id talk to her more about it...her friends might just be peer pressuring her into it and stuff and if they are then she will be makin a mistake..she got to do it of her own free will.
 

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you could expain to her what "it" is for, not just something you do to keep up with the other girls and that she's actually better than them for keeping soming you only get once in your life than just giving it away to anyone. it's a gift for a special person, witch i feel you sould try to convence her it sould be her husband not just some kid with fancy words. or a hot car.if he loves her, and cares about her it won't be like she thinks
 

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HpiRally said:
concern JEWELZ is that she seemed in her words that she feels she is ready to take part in sex acts and that she wants it to be with me, but the concern part is that when I dont sleep with her she will go find someone else, and then later regret it. Make sense?

Joe

Thats what I would think. I think I would tell her that Ill do it but not until she turns 18 or next year, whichever is longer. Hopefully she'll find a nice bf or something by then. Thats all I got...:shrug

But just telling her to wait wont work.
:shake
 

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ToaDady said:
you could expain to her what "it" is for, not just something you do to keep up with the other girls and that she's actually better than them for keeping soming you only get once in your life than just giving it away to anyone. it's a gift for a special person, witch i feel you sould try to convence her it sould be her husband not just some kid with fancy words. or a hot car.if he loves her, and cares about her it won't be like she thinks
Just like a savings bond.
 

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I think that the answers given here is very good and mature.........

But if was put in the given situation when i was 24 I would have nailed her :shrug When i was 24 i had 9years of experience and im sure that i could have given that girl a very great start on her sexual life, call me an :asshole but i dont belive that other readers of this thread wouldn't do the same.


Saving it for her husband is a nobel thought and i guess it's more common in the US then it is here in Europe.
 

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Bad idea.

But, she's open with you on the topic so keep the avenue open for her to discuss it with a trusted friend. To take advantage of the situation would be a serious breach of trust with the family.

Tread lightly, but keep an open dialogue.
 
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